Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous 10 | Next 10

Jul. 17th, 2007



References at the end of the article.

Jul. 16th, 2007

(no subject)

You're living for nothing now.
Hope you're keeping some kind of record

- Famous Blue Raincoat as sung by Tori Amos (original by Leonard Cohen)

Jul. 15th, 2007

It has been the craziest year, you know?

Friday my sister and her family flew down to Newfoundland to see her husband's mother, who has what seems to be end-stage cancer. Yesterday I dropped my mom off at the airport and decided not to go to the Fringe Festival because it was raining, and then last night I went out thinking I could go dancing (alone, as always). When I got home, the police tried to kick in my front door. They seem to have had the wrong address

I went to a strip club with a bar on the roof, and there was a DJ event going on. It was not my style of music - hardcore with something like Drum and Bass tied up in it, but not good DnB, and two half-assed MCs shouting over the groove anyways (not that any of that means anything to you guys). I did a little grooving, but I'm so fucking fat that it winds me to do it, and it wasn't really my scene anyways. I'm not sure there's any scene that's mine anymore. Maybe those days are gone now. I still like dancing, but the more I do it with a mirror nearby, the more I realize how retarded it makes me look.

Today my ankle is very, very painful because of it. I don't know how worthwhile it is to go dancing if it's just going to lay me up for a day or more afterwards. Things are fucked up enough as it is.

I need some counselling. Work provides coverage, so that's probably a good avenue. I'm so sad all the time in my head. I've been like it so long it's hard to remember anything else. Theatre school was the only blip, and in the end...well, it didn't work out, did it? I don't know what's left for me. I feel like the only useful thing I can do is be another income for the rest of my family and friends, take all the cash I make and just make their lives work the way they should. I don't have anything that I myself want or need out of it, not if I can't resume the life I intended to lead. Just pay my bills off and then be an extra income for as long as I can stand it. I don't know what else to do.

Yeah. Fucked up couple of years. Hope all are well.

Jul. 13th, 2007

Self documenting code

A friend at work pointed me to this yesterday. The short version is this:

Although code in the middle of nowhere should probably be readable without comments, public interfaces should be documented using XML documentation.

There's a real problem with that approach, however. In every system I've ever worked on and every tool I've ever worked with, a line of text explaining a method or class does exactly jack-shit for the developer who is new to the system, and most of the ones who have experience with it don't read the line of text to begin with (there are a few Glaring Exceptions, but this is "en masse").

Personally, I'm of the opinion that there needs to be a wiki at every software development shop or department. That wiki should contain breadcrumb trails for new developers. In fact, I am hereby taking ownership of the term "Breadcrumb Trails" to mean specifically "step-by-step instructions intended for new developers on how to use code".

Jul. 12th, 2007

Math nerds only...


Jul. 3rd, 2007

Status Update

I got word back from the doc. No infection, so he considers our association to be At An End, and has basically told me to please fuck off. So I have to go back to the Urgent Care clinic and start the whole process of finding adequate care all over again.

Let me just say...

Today, every fucking thing in the world is going wrong. Thank god for Ann Lee.

Jun. 25th, 2007

I forgot...

Swing dance can be really cool too!


Jun. 23rd, 2007

Just for a moment

Just finished watching Shortbus. I was "allowed" to watch it in the living room, but I didn't really feel like that was going to be practical, given the explicit nature of the movie. I don't think at the time I was thinking about it as a matter of how I would respond to it, but now I'm extra-glad I watched it alone. For just a moment, a split second, the guy who is maybe an actual artist was able to come out and see something that is very far from "normal", yet is incredible and wonderful in its own right. Here's a piece of art that's practically porn from a casual viewership standpoint, but on watching it properly, it is obviously not that. Whatever else it might be.

If I'm going to do something with my life, I want it to be like this, something that's important to me and only maybe thereby important to the rest of the world. If I'm going to be with anyone I want to be with someone who could take this in in reverent silence, or maybe in shared wonder. There's a big piece of me that enjoys what I'm doing right now, professionally, but at this point in the evening, I really feel like I've remembered that it's really not the part that matters most to me.

Fuck. I'm cryin up a storm over here. It's a wonderful thing, but it happens far too seldom lately.

Part of me wonders if this whole idea is "childish things", as dad would say, and if it's time to put it away. 30 this December. Somewhere in the middle of this movie I realized something that I've been struggling to come clear about: No matter if I manage to find someone or not - and let's be clear, until that happens, I'm fucked when it comes to a life long-term - I'm always going to want to be an artist. I don't know if I *can* be. But it's always going to be, I think, what I want to be.

Anyways. Hope all are well. *wave* to any mystery visitors.

Jun. 21st, 2007

Where's Bitchy Mike? Oh, there he is...IN MAH BELLAH!

For some reason this week I'm getting more and more run down every day. I'm getting enough sleep, decent food, and not enough exercise. I don't think it's the exercise, however, unless my body's become addicted within 2 weeks of starting serious workout routine type activities.

Anyways, that's me. Hope All Are Well.

Previous 10 | Next 10